Ugh Not Again - Chapter 2

"Sir, I understand that you're upset, but you can't walk up to our staff with a pocket full of sliced ham and ask them to help you figure out which cold cuts you bought the last time you were here based on smell. It's a bit unreasonable to expect them to know that. Maybe bring a picture of the packaging next time instead."

"Unreasonable? Your staff should know what they're selling!"

Stood at the customer service desk covered in an anxious cold sweat that had everything to do with how her morning started, Dola had to wonder which was worse; the fact that she had two angry magic men in her apartment fighting over a contract on her soul, that she'd signed a contract on her soul twice, that she still had to go to work to keep the apartment that the magic men were currently arguing in, or that she had to deal with this idiot before her. It was feeling like an all of the above situation.

"Sir," Dola replied through a strained smile, "while we are pretty knowledgeable, we aren't able to identify ham based on smell so-"

There was a dull slap as the man threw a slice of ham in her direction and it hit the wall behind her.

"Forget it!" He fumed turning almost as red as Eirlan had been that morning, "I've been shopping here since 1973 and I've spent a lot of money here, but this is the last time! I'll never shop here again!" the man boomed, turning on his heels and storming off to the doors nearly smacking his face on the too slow automatic doors in his hurry.

"I always wanna ask them to give that to us in writing." Ashleigh chuckled under her breath, watching the man go as she stepped into the customer service booth, arms full of returns, "You okay, hon?"

"Yeah I'm fine." Dola sighed sagging her shoulders and turning to her one and only work friend. When Ashleigh started working at Superior Mart Dola hadn't been thought much of the petite yet muscular green haired older woman with her southern drawl other than thinking the spelling of her name was a lot, but after a few months they developed a good working relationship. Aside from being funny and easygoing, Ashleigh was on time, did her job and had no idea who Dola was before her fall from fame; Ashleigh was basically god sent.

"Don't let the jerk ruin your day so early on." Ashleigh pat Dola's shoulder firmly and Dola cleared her throat to hide that it nearly knocked the wind out of her.

"Don't remind me how early it is in the day." Dola groaned looking to the clock. She'd only been in for an hour and it felt like she'd been there for eight days. She wasn't sure if it was the hangover or worrying about whether her place would be in one piece by the time she got home that was stressing her out more.

"Really though, you okay?" Ashleigh's brows furrowed as she took in Dola's beyond wrinkled khakis, upside down name tag, untucked uniform shirt and uncombed hair, "You look like hell." She concluded with a warmth that made the statement a little less insulting than it could have been.

"Thanks." Dola deadpanned fixing her name tag before reaching for the small pile of returns just to have something to do so that their boss didn't complain that they were slacking off.

"I didn't mean it like that." Ashleigh softened, "You just looked stressed is all."

"Try hungover." Dola admitted sheepishly, because it was the only thing she could talk about without someone booking her a stay at the grippy socks hotel. That said, if Ashleigh suspected anything else was going on with Dola it didn't show. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree at Dola's words.

"Oooh! Don't tell me you and Fylson went out for a drink last night finally?" Ashleigh asked with wiggling eyebrows and a breath stealing nudge to Dola's ribs.

"Uh," Dola gasped nursing her surely bruised ribs, "No. You know it's not like that." Ashleigh had met Fylson once when he brought over her lunch and keys that she'd forgotten at home. He'd scolded her for forgetting it and told her that he wouldn't cook anymore if she was going to leave it on the counter to go bad and Ashleigh, bless her heart, overheard with wide excited eyes and eager ears. It had been a whole thing since then.

"Boooo. No fun." Ashleigh pouted with a thumbs down, "I'm just saying though. He's hot, he cooks, your both single right?-" She stopped mid sentence and turned to Dola with eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Wait, is he like crazy or something?"

"No more than anyone else I know."

"Then you must be crazy. He's a ten far as I can tell, he's already in your house and you're just not interested? At all? That's just a waste." Ashleigh shook her head like a mother disappointed in her daughter's bad grades.

"I'm sure it is." Dola muttered, finishing up the returns Ashleigh had brought over, dumping them into a bin and holding out the bin to the other woman, "Take these to the back for me?" She asked with a pleasant yet tight smile.

"Yeah, yeah." Ashleigh rolled her eyes with a grin, "I know when me and my sparkling conversational skills are being dismissed." She took the bin and turned to walk away, "Stay hydrated hon." she called over her shoulder before exiting the customer service booth and disappearing into the aisles.

Dola sighed before turning to pull the ham that had been thrown at her from the wall catching a glimpse of herself in the reflective side of the one way mirror that belonged to the cash office.

She did look rough. She took a second to smooth her hair down, scowling at how frizzy it was from the summer humidity, she poked at the bags under her eyes with disdain.

It wasn't like she'd had time to do much about her appearance this morning. Shortly after her dinner made a reappearance on the living room floor, her secondary alarm for work had gone off and she'd run into the bathroom took the quickest shower of her life, brushed her teeth while she scrubbed up, threw on her uniform and rushed out of the door promising the still upset duo in her house that they work this out when she got back. They called after her, but she was already gone.

Now she really hoped that the building was still standing when she got back. Though Dola hadn't been great about holding up her end of the deal with Fylson when it came to 'using her worldly eyes to guide his unwordly abilities' , she had seen him in action once. Back when they'd first met she hadn't been too convinced that the guy who saved her life in some freak accident actually had powers like he'd claimed and that he was probably just some weirdo that she was insane for letting crash on her couch... And then she saw him do something that she knew no regular person could do.

Sure, Dola had heard of adrenaline rushes, of mother's lifting cars off of their children in great feats of strength, but there was no worldly explanation for what she'd seen that day. Fylson had listed a bus.

She didn't even like to think about that day honestly, that whole thing had been a mess. At that point she'd only known Fylson for a few days when she'd received a letter inviting her to lunch in the next town over sent by someone from her old life that she thought maybe gave a shit enough about her to want to see her. Fylson offered to tag along since he was curious to see the next town over, he promised not to get in her way so she'd agreed. The next day Dola had practically maxed out her credit card to rent a nice car to look like she was doing better than she was in life, packed herself and Fylson in the car and made the two hour drive.

Fylson, true to his word did his own thing and explored the city while Dola... Dola was faced with everything that made her old life so unbearable.

By the time it was time for Fylson and Dola to met up again, it was very late, and she'd been a wreck, a snotty nosed, devastated crying, emotional wreck with no situational awareness in the face of her distress. She'd been crossing the street to get to the parking lot, wiping her face with her sleeves, eyes clouded by tears and mind wracked with despair when she'd stepped into the street without really looking and when an off duty bus came out of no where.

It had been a blur. There had been a scream that she later realized had been her, she called for help, and then the next thing she knew she was on the ground and the bus was in the air... Held up by Fylson.

It never hit her.

He'd caught the bus like a parent might pick up an unruly toddler who'd been darting around the house and held it up like it was in air jail. Dola had been so stunned she forgot what she was sad about. He'd asked if she were okay as he gently placed the bus down like a child would a toy car and she'd nodded, a little terrified of what she'd witnessed. She'd smiled and nodded and thanked him for saving her life while he shrugged and reminded her that it was a part of his job.

The bus driver, an older man, ran out of the bus with all of the panic and confusion that Dola felt as asked Fylson how he did that. Fylson had laughed and clapped the man on the back saying it was a magic trick and the moment Fylson's hand clapped him on the back, the man's concern turned to confusion. The man fussed at them for playing in the street and told them that they could have hurt themselves, that they were too old to be doing that, he said he had to get back to the bus depot to end their shift and warned them to be more careful in the future before he climbed back into the bus and took off.

Fylson had returned to Dola's side, he reached down to help her up and then asked if she had any gum in her bag as if he hadn't just lifted a twelve ton vehicle and saved her life. Dola had been, understandably, gobsmacked by the whole thing and had said as much. He'd shrugged it off and said that it was normal for his people to be able to do such things and that random people remembering him doing those things would be a pain in the ass for everyone so it was only natural to erase the man's memory. Dola forced a smile and agreed, thanking him again for saving her before they both went back to the car.

They drove home in silence.

That day Dola began to truly believe in the unworldly and she'd been more than a little creeped out by it. How could anyone live 30 years of their life thinking that they had a pretty good grip on reality, even if said reality was kind of a bummer, just to have their mind blown by some random guy who could lift buses and erase memories and just be cool with that???

Yes, eventually she got kind of used to him being in her apartment, but in the back of her mind, she had to admit, it freaked her out a bit that any living being could do anything like Fylson could. Thinking about it too much always made her wonder what else she didn't know about the world, what other freakishly powerful creatures were out there? What was real anyway?

It got too introspective for her very quickly and it was too much to think about when she was barely scraping rent together every month, so she thought about it as little as possible and instead chose to argue with Fylson about leaving the seat up on the toilet and about organizing the kitchen until she didn't know where any of her stuff was.

All of that was to say that now that there were two super humans or whatever they were in her life, Dola had to admit she was a little worried that she'd come home to one of them, likely Fylson, throwing her fridge at the other and putting her security deposit at risk.

Maybe if she were lucky, they would decide that it was all too much of a bother and both leave while she was at work. That could work. No pretty boy startling her awake, no more neat freak Fylson nagging at her, sure she'd have to do all the housework herself now, but she had before.

Dola sighed as she snapped out of her thoughts in time to see a woman with a deep scowl on her face and a dripping brown paper bag stop before her at the customer service desk and slam the bag down on the desk with a heavy, wet smack.

There was never time to think about the real issues with her life when people were always distracting her with stupidity.

"I have a return, I can't find the receipt, but I bought these chicken thighs last month. I ate most of it, but now the rest smells real weird. I shouldn't have to pay for this!" The woman demanded, face screwed up in annoyance as if she had any right to be annoyed.

Dola forced a patient smile and took in a deep breath through her nose and braced herself for what she knew was about to be a very exhausting and very stupid conversation, "So sorry to hear that ma'am, my name is Dola, how can we make this right?"

---

Back at the apartment

---

Eirlan and Fylson been cooped up in the apartment for most of the day and now as the sun was setting found themselves hunkered down on opposite ends of the living room watching the other with distrust as they sipped on cans of sparkling water. For the first hour they'd agreed to be civilized and they had, but one sideways look had quickly turned into a yelling match and the yelling match nearly turned to blows until Mr. Onai from the apartment below came up and asked them to keep it down. Fylson had obliged to the kindly old man and instead took to cleaning up around the apartment to keep himself busy and to keep his mind away from throwing the refrigerator at Eirlan and telling Dola that the interloper decided on his own to leave when she got home.

The tactic worked. Fylson put on his taped together, beat up headphones and started cleaning while Eirlan watched with disgust. Hours passed and Eirlan had watched Fylson clean the home of Dola from top to bottom. Literally. Fylson had washed all of the dishes, took out all of the trash, organized all of the shelves in the kitchen, cleaned the ceiling with what looked to Eirlan like a cloth on a stick and scrubbed the dirt out between the tiles of the bathroom with a small brush all while wearing a very out of place pink fruit patterned apron, dust mask and gloves.

For the life of him, Eirlan could not figure out what was going on here. Why was Fylson cleaning? Why was Dola working a human job and not out on missions? The whole point of any of this was for Dola to find people in the world who needed help and to guide Fylson to use his powers to help them. That was the long and short of the contract. So what was going on here? Perhaps it was a good thing this error happened, from where Eirlan stood, Fylson was not fit for this job, he seemed to have no interest in it and only with someone structured and responsible like Eirlan would order be restored. This was what Eirlan had decided when Fylson told Eirlan that here was only a bit of time until Dola got back and handed him a can of liquid that Eirlan had not seen before; he called it sparkling water. As the bubbles danced along his tongue and the whisper of a flavor greeted him, Eirlan decided that he was unsure of it.

"I still think the best option is to report this to management and have them advise us on what to do next." Eirlan insisted quietly for what must have been the millionth time that day, but first time in the last few hours. Fylson rolled his eyes.

"You would think that's the best option, wouldn't you?" Fylson scowled, cracking open his own drink and leaning back against the fridge, "Shut up and drink your drink before you piss me off again." It had been bad enough that he was locked in the house all day with the guy who seemed to be eager to replace him, they didn't have to talk, in fact it would be better if they didn't.

"Of course I think it's the best option! It's the only option" Eirlan fired back catching a second wind, "I did nothing wrong! I have nothing to hide!" He narrowed his eyes and looked to Fylson with disdain, "Can the same be said about you? From where I sit, it looks to me as if you are slacking on your work." Eirlan accused, squaring his shoulders and crossing his legs.

"You know, maybe I should be grateful." Fylson smirked between sips of his drink, "Sometimes I think having a contract to Dola is so annoying and tiring and that it would be better to be back home. Now that you're here, I remember how annoying almost everyone back home is. When you leave- because you will leave- I will remember to be more grateful in the future."

"Oh yes, it's everyone back home that's the problem," Eirlan rolled his eyes setting the bubbly drink to the side, "there's no way it's you that's the problem. Even back in academy you were-"

"Don't you, of all people, even bring up academy!" Fylson boomed slamming his drink down and spilling water all over the counter he'd just cleaned. They both glared at each other from across the room a long moment. The room was filled with tension and the sound of Mr. Onai banging his broom on the ceiling in protest to their yelling.

Fylson was seeing red, while Eirlan just saw someone in over their head lashing out because they both saw that Eirlan was in fact the better choice for the job. This was his first contract, he was not losing out to Fylson, the laughingstock of his class in academy.

"I'm home." Dola appeared in the doorway swinging the front door open and nearly smacking Fylson as she did so. Both men turned to face her, Eirlan with a haughty look that insinuated that now that she was home she'd be on his side and Fylson with a dark look like he wanted to punch Eirlan through the wall all day and was barely resisting the urge at this point, "Oh." Dola remarked as she took in the tension that had been building up over nine hours.

As she placed her bag down, she felt them watching her every move, waiting for her to address this, to fix this and she had no idea how to do either of those things. The work day had been draining and full of idiots who had no right to be upset with her. Now at home she had to deal with three idiots, herself included for getting into this mess, and all three of them had a reason to be upset with her. Fun.

"So are you ready to explain?" Fylson was asking between clenched teeth as she took her sweet time easing off her work vest, clearly trying to stall.

"Uh. You guys don't want to get a bite to eat or something first? You've been cooped up in the house all day and I for one am starving-" Dola suggested hopefully.

"We can order in." Fylson replied with a tight unamused smile.

Damn, thwarted.

"Right." Dola sighed willing and able to think of a million things she'd rather do than to sit down and work this out. She would have rather plucked and counted her eyelashes one by one and then glued them back on in size order or worse; go back to work.

"Please, I simply would like some answers here. I'm very confused and he's been no help." Eirlan pleaded, rising from where he'd sat across the room and walking over to crowd into the small cluttered area near the door. He fixed watery honey eyes and Fylson watched her with a clear anxiety behind the anger that she'd never seen before and Dola felt bad for trying to side step this.

"Fine." She tossed her head back, shoulders sagging because she really just wanted to go to bed, "Let's work this out."